007. [video; technically a re-intro]

[istheindustry]

Well, my dear friends - it's been a long time for some of us, hasn't it?

[...oh, god, Reaver, what the hell do you want...]

While I've made my presence known to a few of you over the last...oh, I don't know, few weeks or so...I know full well that the rest of you may have been unaware of my return - and it's about time that we remedied that, don't you think? After all, I can't deprive all of you of my presence for too long, and the time for laying low is well over.

And if I didn't know you before, then you're more than welcome to introduce yourselves - don't worry about boring me any, if that's the case then I'll gladly tell you to shut up and get on with it. So in the name of that not happening, do try to keep it interesting, will you? Make up a story about the grand dragon-slaying adventure you just embarked upon for all I care.

[He pauses for a moment once that's out there, however; clearly that's not everything he wants just now.]

Of course, it's also come to my attention that a few of you might have what's rightfully mine - and that isn't going to do, either. So do be good sports about this entire business and hand over those Pokémon you may have received, will you? I would hate to have to...collect them, as it were.

Comments

[istheindustry]

Of course it is, my dear; it's been a while, after all.

[...yeah, the ego hasn't changed any.]

[doitrockapella]

Don't let Zack give you a mistaken impression. I'm just fine.

[istheindustry]

Oh, I'm sure you are. 'Secrets' tend to be very helpful in that regard.

[doitrockapella]

Maybe they are. Or maybe they're not.

Either way, you'll never know, will you?

[istheindustry]

My dear, statements like that don't come from a lack of experience; I have more than enough secrets - genuine and requiring quotation marks - to last several lifetimes.

[doitrockapella]

Good. Then you won't need to add mine to the count.

And don't ask Zack about it, either. He doesn't know.

[istheindustry]

Believe me, I'm not nearly that invested. Sleep with whomever you like, darling; good for you.

Video

[lieutenantantichrist]

I found it squelching in my front door and hauling itself up on the ceiling fan.

It had a note with a whole lot of loopy letters that only a guy who wears a top hat could write.

[doitrockapella]

That's what you think?

I hope you're better at stealing than you are at guessing my secrets, or you're never going to see Lady Elizabeth again.

[istheindustry]

You certainly do like making assumptions about what people in top hats are capable of, don't you, darling?

As it stands, I'll be taking her off your hands, don't worry about that.

[istheindustry]

Well, you have to admit that there aren't many other conclusions to be drawn, my dear.

As flattered as I am that you must think this is the case, clairvoyance isn't one of my many talents.

[doitrockapella]

Well, you're wrong. You should've tried a different one.

Though if you're really not that invested, then it's a moot point either way.

[istheindustry]

Oh, exactly.

Although the point still stands - you're obviously more than able to sleep with whomever you like.

[doitrockapella]

Of course I am. And it's none of your business.

[istheindustry]

Well. Not unless we decide it is, someday.

[doitrockapella]

Don't make me repeat myself.

[istheindustry]

Merely a suggestion, darling, nothing more.

[doitrockapella]

I'm letting you get away with calling me "darling". That's more than enough.

[istheindustry]

Consider your point granted, then.

[...the temptation to be a smartass and tack "my dear" on there is intense.]

[video]

[artfuldestruction]

They dragged you back here too, did they?

[Really, it's almost amusing by this point. Not that he's laughing very hard.]

I'm so happy for you.

[And still so incredibly asspained about the whole thing! The fact that his stupid Deino is currently sitting by his side and whining like some sort of demonic dog isn't helping.]

[lieutenantantichrist]

It's panned out so far, and I'm not your fucking darling.

[He pulls the octopus back, lets her dangle from his hand, and eyes her. His voice turns surprised.]

Oh, you want it back?

[istheindustry]

Seeing as she is my property and all, it would be in everyone's best interests.

Of course, you mentioned fighting earlier; I would rather prefer it not come to that, but if you're going to insist...

[istheindustry]

[Hey, if he has to be here, at least you're suffering with him. At least you're someone he can tolerate - who else is he supposed to be in contact with, Archer? The man is drywall as hell.]

Doctor Kato - as charming as ever, I see. Enjoying an...extended vacation from reality, are you?

[lieutenantantichrist]

I didn't say anything about fighting. I said I was gonna punch you in your smug mime face.

[Blake looks at the octopus. He looks back at the camera.]

Finders keepers.

My octopus now, asshole.

[istheindustry]

Not for long, if you test me.